I know it’s not really cold yet – though a couple of those windy days last week made me think about wearing footsie pajamas under my clothes. Those were days when your windblown hair would make you look like a stark raving lunatic but the Albert Einstein coif only makes you look normal. Everyone was walking around like they stuck their finger in the socket and then jumped in the dryer.
Now that the wind has tapered off – at least for the next 20 minutes or so – I can say it’s not cold. It’s not cold but it is dark. So dark.
And the darkness reminds me to send season’s greeting to my fellow gloomyites who hopefully won’t be reading this column because they’re just gonna get even more depressed. According to the Mayo Clinic a lot people suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) this time of year, which pretty much explains it. I have to Google things like fibromyalgia or multiple myeloma but I get what SAD means.
SAD is like the side effects you get after taking a pill to cure something. You can cure toenail fungus with this pill but you’re gonna feel depressed, lose interest in activities you once enjoyed, have problems sleeping (or sleep all day) and experience changes in weight or appetite.
Anyway, you SADinistas I’m with you. Of course, Boyleing Points is not exactly light therapy, which is what you probably need. A Boyleing Points keep-your-chin-up, misery loves company message, won’t do much to cheer you up when it gets dark just past lunchtime these days.
But speaking of the Mayo Clinic I just learned that kids don’t get sarcasm in written form until the age of 11. They get sarcasm by someone’s tone in the voice much earlier but not on the written page. Hmmm….makes me wonder about my audience…oh, where was I?
Still, even when we become hip, sophisticated adults, there are still those times you miss the obvious. I like your shirt, someone says. Oh, thanks, you say back. But then there’s a slight pause. I was being sarcastic.
That’s a 2-for-1. They insulted your shirt and then your intelligence for not picking up the sarcasm---which is a close cousin of irony.
Hold on all you people who hated English class. I’m trying to land this plane and come full hexagon to make a point. It just occurred to me that I have been missing a joke all these years. We live in the so-called Age of Irony where the serious is ridiculed and the opposite of what is said is the point.
I’m now thinking Happy Holidays is meant in the same way as I like your shirt. How can the Holidays be Happy if you’re suffering from SAD? How can somebody sing this is the most wonderful time of the year? That’s some wicked sarcasm.
Maybe all this time people have been saying Happy Holidays when they really mean, doesn’t this suck?
Man, it’s a little bit early for me to be SAD. But it’s early and it’s friggin dark.
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