Include Me Out

Boyleing Points

Can they call them something besides old white men? That hits a little close to home.   One of my follicle-challenged brothers has said, bald people are the last group no one has any hesitation to make fun of. You can’t mention race, religion or body shape without triggering a protest rally. But bald guys are still fair game. It’s an outrage, the bowling ball head, mutters.

Well, old white men are the new bald guys. And I’m not being redundant.

Plenty of old white men (OWM) just want to be left alone with their varicose veins, ear hair, and TV remote. When they hear about old white men, (the patriarchy!) being blamed for all of society’s ills, their reaction is, huh? Me? What’d I do?

The difference between dinosaurs and human dinosaurs (aka the Over The Hill Gang aka old white guys) is that the human kind know they’re about to become extinct. Dinosaurs were prancing around eating grass and other dinosaurs, I guess, when they looked up and saw an asteroid heading their way. There was no video but I figure they did what humans do when disaster strikes. They yelled out, “Holy shit!”

I never use such language but watch any video of disaster and those two words are invariably uttered by witnesses and sometimes victims. 

Human dinosaurs, most older white dudes, won’t be yelling Holy Anything because they’re not going to be surprised. There’s no escaping — extinction forces are underway. They see it, they get it. Many just want to fade away and not get noticed.

You’re taught not to generalize about groups and it seems like a reasonable concept and the charitable thing to do. When you’re the one being generalized about, when you’re the one being lumped in, you want to scream that’s not fair. But if you do, you’ll be reminded of your privilege. And then be told, that’s too bad. 

To generalize, older white guys have done themselves no favors lately. They keep getting accused of sexual harassment and even worse things. They’re blamed for everything that’s wrong with government. Some say the New York subway system is in crisis because old white guys are running it. 

All that may be true but do we old regular white guys have to be lumped in with those other white guys? What about us poor schmucks who were never in the good old boys’ club? It was our privilege to pick up their crumbs. Now, we’re in the club?

There’s a big difference from being on a dollar bill than scratching your whole life to hold onto a few.

I like to see the high and mighty get taken down as much as the next revolutionary, but can’t another label be attached? Old white men being blamed for everything covers a lot of old white men.

Kathy Griffin, the comedian, essentially committed professional suicide when she held up a bloody Donald Trump head in a photo shoot. When her apologies didn’t quite revive her career, she cried, “There's a bunch of old white guys trying to silence me!”

Really? The old guys are that powerful? Well, then what took them so long?

For those lumping all us OWM together: get off my lawn.

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