Tango

Boyleing Points
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My wife asked me what I wanted for dinner and then told me I was wrong.

Kidding, honey, kidding! I may have just broken the number one rule in the house.  You can’t say you were joking if it’s not funny. That’s a kid’s trick. They say stupid crap and then when you’re about to rip their heads off, they say they were joking. They are then reminded of rule Number One.

Actually, most challenges in the land of marital bliss are a little more subtle than that crack about dinner.

Now, I’m no Henny Youngman — take my wife, please—but we were away with couples recently and some yuckity-yuck, heehaw marriage stuff broke out that probably breaks rule number one.  But I can’t help but share. Oh, and don’t shoot the messenger.  I’m just a reporter.  

Someone said marriage is the only institution where people ask, why are you breathing like that?

Marriage makes you wonder: Why are forks and knives pointing up in the dishwasher? Again. Somebody trying to say something?

Everyone seems to agree with the sentiment that marriage is just your spouse perpetually standing in front of the kitchen drawer or cabinet you need to open.

Yeah, it’s kinda like who’s leading on the dance floor.

Of course, with all this better or for worse conversation, I did my usual deep research and came across this marital battle of the wits: Marriage is essentially two people taking turns pushing down the top of the kitchen garbage so they don't have to take it out.

The internet is always a source for more. Of course, husbands can be brave and say stuff online because they can remain anonymous. Did I say don’t shoot the messenger —because this one made me chuckle.

Husband: Isn’t this great? 

Wife: Not really.  

The husband looking down from the top bunk: What’s wrong?

It wasn’t all men making such remarks. Someone quoted Cher, who is alleged to have said: “The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.”

And then there’s this from good old Anonymous: “Some mornings, I wake up grouchy. And some mornings, I let him sleep.”

Hey, it’s spring, people are get married now. I don’t want to scare off anybody about walking down the aisle, but this living together stuff is work (but worth it!).

Just remember, don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the one you think you can't live without. And that’s no joke.

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