This past weekend was a rare one for me. I actually went to the beach and sat in a chair and did nothing but stare at the water, read my book, and nod off. Two days in a row, a total of almost six hours of what most people call, “relaxing.” While this might seem like an article “about nothing,” to paraphrase George Costanza, it’s actually a big deal for me.

I didn’t invent multi-tasking, but I have been rightfully accused by the mermaid of taking it to absurd lengths. Take for instance the day

And just like that, we have 80-degree weather and crowds that completely overpopulate the peninsula! How does nature know that it’s Memorial Day? And how does the City not remember the lines from last year’s ferries? Would it have been impossible to plan for larger or more ferries for the people who waited for hours in Manhattan or those bypassed in Brooklyn? How about those waiting in the rain for the return trip? What a disaster. Failure snatched from the jaws of victory.

And how about all

I’m a big fan of Bruce Springsteen’s song, "Atlantic City." Not so crazy about his version, preferring instead Levon Helm’s interpretation of the song. I’m also a big fan of the movie, "Atlantic City," starring Burt Lancaster and Susan Sarandon, and not just because Burt plays a guy named Lou and that he gets the girl in the end. There is something redemptive in both the Bruce song and the movie, although the two have nothing to do with each other.

I haven’t been to Atlantic City in forty

On a bright sunny Saturday morning, after weeks of non-stop rain, the mermaid and I drove down to Beach 74th Street to a lot where the principal business is selling used cars. But that is just a cover for the launching pad that is the Rockaway Mermaid Brigade's entry into the Coney Island Mermaid Parade. As we exited the car and walked toward the lot, we were struck by the flurry of busy, multi-colored mermen and mermaids preparing for their big day. You see they are defending float champs from

Cincinnatus was the name of a Roman statesman around 500 BCE who was called from his farm to lead Rome back to peacetime after several violent uprisings. After securing Rome, legend has it that Cincinnatus returned to his farm and gave up all the trappings of power. This supreme act of civic virtue has been kept alive through various Societies of Cincinnati, and in fact is the reason why we have a city in Ohio named after him.

The city of Cincinnati sits right next to the Ohio River and is

How many of you remember mite boxes for charities as kids? I remember receiving the unfolded cardboard boxes, folding them into a box and then adding pennies, nickels and dimes to the boxes. I assume that each box could hold about ten dollars, and that each of the 500 kids in my grammar school did the same. That’s about five thousand dollars. If a hundred schools did the same, that would add up to almost half a million dollars! Where did that money go?

The mermaid and I went to Washington