The holidays are over, and despite the winter being on the mild side thus far, it's cold outside! It’s quite difficult to imagine galivanting through town with no shoes, no shirt, and no plan, since our carefree summer personas have been thinly veiled for several months now. For many, this is the perfect opportunity to give our brains and livers a break and settle into a brief hibernation. It’s a great time to step away from the high-octane insanity that defines this infamous beach town. Many others fly south in an attempt to keep their summer selves alive through the winter months. This can be both a bold and a dangerous endeavor. 

Whatever your survival methods may be, it’s time to put them on hold for one enchanted evening and let it all hang out at Poseidon’s Prom! For those of you who live both on the rock and under one, Poseidon’s Prom is the yearly fundraiser for Poseidon’s Parade, Rockaway’s famous art parade. In keeping with ancient Greek tradition, the prom always falls on the Saturday after the Super Bowl at the Knights of Columbus. That makes this year’s prom date February 8, 2020! 

I checked in with Rockaway’s favorite actor, comedian, DJ and glitter enthusiast, Paddy Tubz. I spotted him on the ferry ride to YEMSG to catch his 100th Phish show during their yearly New Year’s Run. He told me that he has been preparing his DJ set since last year’s event.  “You can never be too prepared!" He shouted with conviction. “A good set list will make or break a show. You can’t just get up there and jam for 40 minutes. There has to be a plan. You have to keep the people moving. The energy is the most important thing. You can’t let it die with a set-killing boring song. People are paying good money to be entertained!” The interview suddenly ended in a puff of glitter as he disappeared into the late December fog.

In a quest for more information, I descended into Poseidon’s Cave, which is in its early phases of construction, to meet with Casey and Geoff. Casey told me that “The Prom theme is ‘Homecoming."' When I asked Geoff for clarification, he shouted, “It’s a Prom-Themed Prom.  Make sure to close the gate when you leave.” As I quickly scurried away, I wondered if the spray paint and other aggressively scented fumes in the poorly ventilated basement cave were beginning to get to their heads. I believe my journalistic instincts were once again on point.

As I left the cave, I wandered onto the boardwalk to find many people taking advantage of the 45-degree sunny weather. One such person was esteemed Knight and Rockaway internet persona, Bill Gehlhaus. “Have you seen the nutcracker man? I haven’t seen him since September!” he frantically asked before recognizing me in my hideous winter form. After pleasantries were properly exchanged, he told me that The Knights are ready for Rockaway Mermaid Brigade’s yearly invasion of their space, and that tickets cost $40 and include an open bar and passed apps.

As usual, the ceremony will include the crowning of the prom king and queen, who will lead next year’s parade. In addition to prom king and queen, everyone’s favorite phallic trophy will be formally presented to a distinguished brigade member. Rumor has it that “Melvin James and the Homecoming Queens” will also be performing a short set, which will give Paddy Tubz time to check out the Art Gallery, and the Chinese Auction. While I won’t get into specifics about the raffle items until next week, it’s safe to say that there will be a variety of prizes donated by a variety of businesses on the peninsula.

The Brigade urges you to get your tickets in advance! They also encourage businesses to reach out to Casey, Geoff, Bobby, Alex, or any other brigade member if they wish to participate in the raffle. It's a great opportunity to support the parade that brings business to the Rock each fall. For people who cannot attend, but wish to donate, checks can be made payable to Poseidon’s Parade Inc. For more information on how to help contribute, contact Bobby at 347-234-2087. Poseidon’s Parade is growing in size every year, and the prom helps get it off the ground! Tickets can be purchased at

 By Bert Sanders