I’m sure it says something about me that most of my ideas have to do with improving life in the bathroom, but that’s a column for another day. Today, we will try to navigate the uncertain limitations of the household hot water tank. The problem? Running out of hot water. The fact is, in a contemporary household populated by two adults and three teenagers, the politics of bathroom usage can get pretty ugly. 

One of the most commonly asked questions in our house is “what the (heck) are they doing in there for so long?” That query is usually followed by the through-the-bathroom-door declaration, “You better not use all the hot water!” 

As much as I want to blame the hot water hog for draining the pipes of that precious fluid, I have a hard

Here are some more ideas we cooked up for you. And most are dumb!

Maybe robots taking over the world isn't the worst thing.

Have a building where the elevators are fixed, and pressing a floor button moves the entire building to the floor you want to go to

Add beer to nicotine, and smoke it, or drink it.

Americans can give up their vote in exchange for a free Big Mac every election.

Make a bacon-flavored tooth paste to encourage people to brush their teeth.

Commit crimes, but have a friend

Some more ideas for your noodling pleasure…

In the wintertime instead of kids having lemonade stands, they should have traveling hot cocoa sleds.

Cords for headphones should have a small layer of the same magnets inserted, so they repel the rest of the cord and do not get tangled.

Require all new politicians to pass an IQ test to prove they are smarter than 70 percent of the population.

Update current patent law to allow open access to all patents, but charge a per unit licensing fee that

Ideas can come at any time, though so many seem to strike in the loo. And so was the case when I was brushing my teeth the other day. Maybe you’ve seen ads for the Dollar Shave (commentary: they’re funny). Shave Club is a subscription-based business in which you sign up to have razors mailed to you on a regular basis. I think it’s a monthly subscription, though I’m guessing they offer a Wolfman package for guys who have a 5 o’clock shadow by noon.

So as I was running my toothbrush under the

Who doesn’t love Amazon?  Virtually anything your heart desires is merely a click away from being delivered to your front door. If there’s anything better than Amazon Prime, I haven’t figured it out. For about $100 per year, you get free shipping on most purchases, and unlimited access to Amazon Prime movies and TV series.  Subscribe & Save means I never have to remember to buy toilet paper, tooth brushes, K cups or deodorant again.  Amazon remembers for me, and they appear magically on a

It’s not like I’m about to compete on next season of Iron Chef or anything, but every now and then I find myself about to embark on an episode of “Dad’s Amazing Omelets” and have to wrestle with the indoor grill, more commonly known as the kitchen stove.  It’s been my experience that every gas stove starts pretty much the same way: crank the knob until you hear the ignition clicking, wait for the flame, then you lower the flame to the desired height vis-a-vis the pot or pan that rests upon it. 

 More eclectic ideas submitted for your consideration…

A public holiday where everyone must remain in bed all day.

Contact lenses that work as sunglasses.

A bus company that charges Pi for all tickets: meaning, exact fare only.

Kidnap prominent Youtube 'flat earthers,' and send them into space. Broadcast their reactions live to the world.

Amazon.com should save the Amazon rainforest by purchasing it entirely.

Build Trump's Wall, with only one automatic door on the entire border, and have

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