Just Thought I’d Share

Boyleing Points

Hope you’re in the mood for a little stress.  It’s the kind of stuff I love to share.

I know a lot of you stop by this column for medical advice. Yeah, if you want to be official and all that, you can check out Ask The Doc, but I know if you follow Boyleing Points you come here for questionable advice and special-brand quackery. 

Although no one can reasonably question last week’s column about the importance of a colonoscopy, many have scoffed at my declaration that your back pain is all in your head. Quick note, the founding father of such science, Dr. John Sarno (and that Dr. before his name is legit), went to the big pain free farm in the sky a couple of weeks ago.

People complain about back pain and no one believes me when I say it’s all in your head. But if I say stress is causing it, they agree.  So it’s not in their head but stress is the culprit. Somehow they draw the distinction. 

Whatever. Point is, you gotta manage your stress. (And you can go to another column, Be Well, Be Happy for that). But sometimes the stuff that gives you stress is really, uhm, stressful. And there’s nothing to do about it except put your head in the sand and hope the worst doesn’t happen.

Like nuclear war with North Korea. There’s not much good that comes out of worrying about that. No, I have another stress I’d like to share with you so you can worry along with me. 

(Ain’t this a nice summery, breezy read?)

Last week Google and Amazon and some other stocks sunk almost 90 percent, or so it seemed. Some glitch caused some stocks to tank and a few to soar. If you happened to have owned any of the tankers you might have
had a heart attack before news broke that it was some tech malfunction.   

Which gets me to my favorite source of stress. What happens if the Internet turns on you. Just you. Imagine if your bank account is just gone. Your 401k or kid’s college account is zeroed out. Gone. Not stolen, just gone. Your credit cards were tied to that account. Can’t use them now.

You’ve got a paper statement so you think there’s proof that you have assets. You run to the bank. The bank manager hasn’t actually seen a paper statement before. But after he calls someone he says it looks like you might have HAD an account but they can’t find it now.  And that paper statement is only through the end of the month. Maybe you emptied out the account, they say. But, don’t worry, they’ll look into it some more.  Don’t worry!?!

There’s no class action, no army of similarly robbed account holders. It’s just your account that’s been disappeared. You’d like to hire a lawyer but how’re you gonna pay him?  Ah, but your friend’s a lawyer, he’ll help you for free.  But it’s a holiday weekend and the banks are closed and he’ll look into it next week.  Maybe the bank will be like Build It Back and never find any paperwork. 

Now from listening to all my zenny yoga flower friends, I know I shouldn’t worry about things I have no control over.  But I wonder if I do have some control and maybe I should go full mattress. Empty out the bank account before some hacker does. Or some glitch makes me disappear.

But if you go all cash you gotta get money orders and wait on line and…god, the stress!

I need a drink. Bars still take cash, don’t they? 

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