Happy birthday to my beloved Grace. The big 39. Another candle on your cake, but it's so much more than that. Another year of amazing memories, inside jokes, uncontrollable laughter, crazed children, demented dogs, unhinged cats, humpbacked lizards, rude turtles, and whistling guinea pigs, but more importantly, another year of having you by my side each and every day. I spent days upon days thinking about what in the world I could possibly do for you that would make this birthday amazing. I spent hours upon hours trying to figure out what in the world to get a woman who gives me everything. Nothing could compare. Nothing was as sincere as me wishing you a happy day, not just on your birthday, but every day. (I guess that would make it a

I am not a big fan of dining out but when I do decide to visit a food establishment, I want to be treated like a human being and not like a number. The Cracker Barrel Restaurant chain had this customer relations thing down to a science and I used to frequent these restaurants a lot in years gone by. Every Cracker Barrel also had a big fireplace replete with a bearskin rug, which I absolutely loved, but unfortunately the management of Cracker Barrel has a policy prohibiting customers from taking

This past Sunday, I happened to bump into one of my younger neighbors and, after exchanging pleasantries, I blurted out, "Hot enough for you?" As soon as the question left my mouth, I immediately regretted asking it as I knew full well that this particular neighbor is a not only a die-hard vegan and a card-carrying tree-hugger, but also a devout disciple of the religion of pending apocalyptic climate change. "Better get used to it...", my friend replied, "Climate change is a global matter. The

I would be remiss if I did not mention that the feedback from last week's column, “Back Pain and Loo-nacy," was somewhat mixed. Although some readers told me that they had a good chuckle over my efforts to deal with chronic lower back pain, others were somewhat upset about what they described as my "unhealthy" fixation on bodily functions. More specifically, they thought I had dwelled far too long on the subject of constipation and laxatives, but between you and me, I honestly believe it was my

Just a quick reminder to all of you out there that the Broad Channel VFW Post 260 will be hosting it's annual "Pig Roast" this Saturday (July 14) from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. Everyone I speak to who intends to attend this porcine gala has been psyched and why shouldn't they be? After all, the same old hot dogs and hamburgers get old after a while, but put on a pig roast and you've got a show! The most often asked question is "Will the pig have an apple in its mouth?" It will not. 

Other queries have

I recently came across a column from back in June of 2016 entitled, "Major League Baseball must permanently retire God Bless America, a song that offends Everyone." This piece of pseudo-intellectual drivel was penned by Mr. Gersh Kuntzman, a breaking news editor for Newsweek and former editor and columnist for the NY Daily News. 

In his column, Mr. Kuntzman complained that the singing of God Bless America at stadiums over the July 4th weekend will "assault" all baseball fans in attendance and

Summer is almost officially upon us and the guys and girls up at the Broad Channel VFW on Shad Creek Road are once again extending an invitation to all to join them for their first BBQ of the season. Hopefully Saturday's weather will be filled with lots of sun and warm temps, so gather up your family, friends, and neighbors and drop by the Broad Channel VFW for some lively music, stimulating conversation, great food, soda, water and ice cold beer while enjoying a refreshing light breeze off the

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