Don't forget to stop by the Broad Channel VFW this Sunday afternoon to enjoy a Super Bowl 51 Tailgate Party extravaganza with your friends and neighbors! The Broad Channel VFW doors will open at 12 noon, when you can come on in and enjoy the pre-game afternoon hours with upwards of a thousand of your friends and neighbors comfortably seated in the lushly padded theater seats available in the Post Media Room, while partaking of a sumptuous repast, accompanied by a wide-ranging selection of liquid refreshments to quench your thirst with. Of course you will then be welcome to stay for the game itself, which will kick off at 6:30 pm to cheer on the team that your next mortgage payment is dependent on! I have also been advised that there is a tremendous amount of press interest in this Sunday's VFW tailgate party, so make sure to stop by to be seen by the paparazzi.
Wait a minute! Gotta put the brakes on this column right now! Those pesky attorneys who review this column anytime the VFW is mentioned prior to publication have demanded that I add the following disclaimer regarding the above paragraph. The ambulance chasers have pointed out that my use of the term "extravaganza" to describe this Sunday's tailgate party might be overstating the event just a wee bit. The party will not actually be an elaborate and spectacular Super Bowl tailgate production. In fact, for legal reasons (explained in last week's column,) it will not even be an actual tailgate party because of legal problems encountered last year with a pickup truck, Matty Conklin, a bottle of beer and Jamaica Bay.
I have also been legally advised that Building Occupancy Regulations makes my claim that you will be partying with "upwards of a thousand" of your friends and neighbors, also somewhat suspect and possibly litigious. Further I have been legally required to tell you that the "lushly padded theater seats available in the Post Media Room," I refer to in the above paragraph are in fact bar stools located in the building's rear canteen (aka bar), which has two large flat screen TVs. But hey, the bar stools (at least some of them) are padded! Oh, and the "sumptuous repast accompanied by a wide-ranging selection of liquid refreshments to quench your thirst," I may have mentioned...think more along the lines of ice cold beers, hot dogs and hamburgers.
Oh, before I forget, the in-house legal mouthpieces have urged me to advise all of you that gambling on sporting events is illegal here in de Blasio land ever since the city's own legal bookie operation (OTB) went belly up. Nevertheless, if you are determined to place a wager anyway, do so responsibly. You don't want Tom Brady to be responsible for the bank foreclosing on your house if some Woodward-Bernstein wannabe reporter claims to have seen him fooling around with the Patriot's balls in the bathroom again!
Finally, insofar as the paparazzi are concerned, the shysters want me to state only that I have been in contact with Maureen Drennan, who tells me she may stop by the VFW on Super Bowl Sunday. Many of you know Maureen, a professional photographer, whose work has been included in a myriad of exhibitions including the National Portrait Gallery in Washington D.C. Maureen has become a huge fan of the community of Broad Channel, and her most recent photo essay about Broad Channel, "What it's like to live on an island no one has ever heard of," was recently published by Refinery 29, an American-based fashion, style, and beauty website.
In closing, please do not interpret anything I may have written above as any type of put down of the legal profession for which I have the utmost respect. After all, if it hadn't been for two attorneys fighting over a penny years ago, copper wire would never have been invented and then where would we be? All kidding aside, it's for a great cause, and as always, all donations and proceeds will go to support the Post’s activities in supporting our disabled veterans. So spread the word about this event and come on down yourself on Super Bowl Sunday. Looking forward to seeing you there.
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