This past weekend saw the various members of the Arnemann clan of Broad Channel and their friends gather within the dining room of the North Channel Yacht Club on a sunny and warm Saturday afternoon to surprise the ever lovely Diane Arnemann on her recent birthday. Shortly before 3 p.m. the crowd erupted in applause as the dining room door swung open and Diane walked into the room accompanied by her husband, Charles. Despite being wide-eyed and open-mouthed, it only took Diane a few seconds to figure out that she was the guest of honor at this unexpected soiree and she responded as any loving wife would do - she immediately turned to her beloved husband Charles socking him right in the chest and exclaiming, "I'll kill you!" Music suddenly filled the room as Diane, after quickly regaining her composure, strode through the gathering of well-wishers greeting all her well-wishes.
Personally speaking, the highlight of the party was a conversation with a disabled elderly Broad Channel yachtsman I had out on the yacht club's back deck. The gentleman was missing a leg, had a hook for a right hand and was sporting an eye patch. When I asked what happened to his leg he responded, “a gator bit off me leg while I was burying gold in Florida.” I then asked what happened to his hand. “A shark bit me hand off while I was throwing the gator back into the water.” Amazed at the old man's courage, I asked how he lost his eye. “A seagull shit in me eye.” That threw me for a loop and I stated, "A bird shit in your eye and you lost it?” The old man simply smiled and said, "You have to understand, it was my first day with the hook!" But I digress.
The rest of the day was spent by all enjoying the resplendent feast of food and drink steeped in the always enjoyable warmth of that which can only be realized in the company of close family and friends. Kudos to Charles Arnemann for arranging this terrific party for his wife and keeping her in the dark about it for the past several weeks - no small feat! But then again, Charles is old school and will quickly tell you that the best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. As for me I am a great believer in statistics which show that those with the most birthdays usually live the longest.
Speaking of Yacht Clubs in the Channel, this coming weekend the Iroquois Yacht Club will be hosting an engagement party in honor of Chris Horn and his lovely betrothed, Meaghan. As most of you know, Chris is the son of life long Broad Channel residents Barbara and Terry Horn. The life and times of the Horn family is legend within Broad Channel. Over the years they had a dog named “Baby Bear” which weighed in at some 200+ pounds and upon whose back you could safely land a small helicopter. Their son Chris’s bedroom was occupied by a rather scary looking enormous lizard which (I believe) was rented out to Steven Spielberg for his first Jurassic Park film back in 1993. At the same time their daughter, Erin, was already well on her way to becoming the “Pit Bull Whisperer” she is today long before celebrity dog behaviorist, Caesar Milan, became a household word. The Horns are a family who do not get overly excited about unexpected events. Many moons ago Barbara discovered someone had delivered a live chicken to her hallway in a cardboard box. Not missing a beat, Barbara immediately sized up the situation and sprinted back upstairs to finish her morning coffee as she called her husband Terry at work advising him, “Don’t bother picking up the steaks on the way home, we’re having chicken for dinner!” Although the mystery of who dropped off the live chicken at the Horn’s residence remains unsolved until this very day, the point of these stories is that, depending on where you live, one neighbor’s quality of life complaint is another neighbor’s welcomed dinner menu change, especially in Broad Channel!
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