Conspiring To Vote

Between The Bridges

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. You can't convince me that's just a coincidence! Conspiracy theorists are salivating over the fact that the National Archives recently unsealed thousands of documents relating to the assassination of JFK more than five decades ago back in November of 1963. Did Lee Harvey Oswald act alone or was he abetted by the KGB? Cuba's Fidel Castro? The Mafia? The CIA? A cabal of seditious businessmen? His own Vice President, LBJ?

Theories abound with no lack of enthusiastic supporters for each one. Personally, I think all this noise is simply a smokescreen to keep us all from realizing that the whole ice-bucket challenge was actually just a long game being played by Dorothy Gale's surviving family and friends to make sure the Wicked Witch of the West was really and truly dead and gone!

It's election time again and in a nation of citizens who will cross an ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote, it's important to keep in mind that casting our votes allows each of us to express an individual choice among candidates who wish to become government leaders. Upon some reflection, I am of the opinion that the problem of voter apathy is also exacerbated by the fact that, after last year's Presidential election, the consensus of the nation's electorate is that 100 percent of Americans are convinced that fully 50 percent of Americans have lost their minds.

Notwithstanding the above, remember that in our Post-Sandy Build it Back and flood insurance rate increase era, our elected representatives play an integral role in ensuring the continued viability of our neighborhoods and so if you decide you want to have your say, then learn who and what you are voting for, and go in and vote next Tuesday.

As a personal aside, the election of most consequence to those of us here in the Channel is that for the seat of the City Council's 32nd District which is being sought by the Republican incumbent Eric Ulrich and his Democrat challenger from Howard Beach, Mike Scala. I have researched both candidates and although I found them both to be viable candidates for the position of our Councilman, only Ulrich has something truly significant going for him - the endorsement of former Democrat State Assemblyman Phil Goldfeder.  Peggy Noonan, one of my favorite writers, once wrote, "Don't fall in love with politicians. They are all disappointments. They can't help it. They just are."

Of course, even Ms. Noonan would allow that there are exceptions to her rule and, every now and then, a truly remarkable person manages to get elected and actually serves his or her constituency. Those of us who reside within the State Assembly's 23rd District were blessed to be on the receiving end of such a political happenstance in the person of Phil Goldfeder when he assumed stewardship of our district from the hands of Audrey Pheffer back in 2011. No summer soldier of partisan politics, Phil proved himself to be that rare species of politician who was more concerned with the well-being of the present and future generations of the families in our District rather than that of his own re-election. Phil's appeal stemmed from the fact that we all recognized him for what he was, which is to say he was one of us, a tireless worker who shared the same dreams, hopes and aspirations we all have for our families and community. Needless to say, that if Phil thinks Eric's the right guy to keep his job, you may rest assured next Tuesday I will be pulling the lever for Eric Ulrich to remain as our District 32 Council member. And yes, I know we don't “pull levers” anymore with the computer-scanned paper ballots and all that computer wizardry.

I know some of you are thinking what about the Mayor's race, isn't that important too? My personal choice this year is to vote for "ABD" (anyone but de Blasio), but I am also grounded in reality and being of sound mind I am sure (save a miracle) that he will sail through to a second term without too much difficulty so he can continue napping, paper over his face, on his City Hall office couch each morning after counting all the cash he has received from his special interest donors and showing up late (or not at all) for scheduled appearances. I can even quote for you his acceptance speech to his progressive minions and the city's hoi polloi during his inauguration next January. "My apologies for arriving late. There is nothing wrong with your television. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. I am now in control of the transmission. I control the horizontal and the vertical. I can deluge you with a thousand channels, or expand one single image to crystal clarity and beyond. I can shape your vision to anything my imagination can conceive. For the next four years, I will control all that you see and hear because I know better than all of you. And please rest easy knowing that I fully intend to complete all Sandy-related Build it Back projects prior to finishing my second term as your Mayor! Thank you."  Like I said above, I am voting for "ABD."

In closing, just a reminder to everyone that Daylight Saving Time ends this Sunday morning, November 5, 2017, at 2:00 am.  Remember to set all your clocks back one hour!

Broad Channel, why would anyone want to live anywhere else?

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