Please print my Ten Commandments of Beach Etiquette.
- Thou shalt not shake out beach towels close to thy neighbor: Walk a significant distance away before you do this and walk a significant distance away from people before you spray sunscreen.
2. If morbidly obese with rolls of flesh hanging over your suit, thou shalt cover-up.
- Thou shalt always plant thyself at least five yards away from other beachgoers on holiday weekends: We’ll give you 10 yards on regular beach days.
4. Thou shalt not (and I mean not never ever) feed the seagulls: Or let your kids feed them. This is one of the most egregious offenses on the beaches.
5. Thou shalt not change at the beach: No amount of shielding you with a