Please print my Ten Commandments of Beach Etiquette.
- Thou shalt not shake out beach towels close to thy neighbor: Walk a significant distance away before you do this and walk a significant distance away from people before you spray sunscreen.
2. If morbidly obese with rolls of flesh hanging over your suit, thou shalt cover-up.
- Thou shalt always plant thyself at least five yards away from other beachgoers on holiday weekends: We’ll give you 10 yards on regular beach days.
4. Thou shalt not (and I mean not never ever) feed the seagulls: Or let your kids feed them. This is one of the most egregious offenses on the beaches.
5. Thou shalt not change at the beach: No amount of shielding you with a towel is going to hide the fact that you are actually doing on the beach what you should have done before you got here.
6. Thou shalt not bring dogs on the beach. Period: Except for the few specifically designated dog beaches in New Jersey. A beach with human beings is no place for a dog.
7. Thou shalt not fly drones over the beach: Drones may be fun. They may be cool, but it bothers people and infringes on their privacy to look up and see a little mini aircraft taking photos of them. Not to mention the fact that it’s at a horrible angle.
8. Thou shalt not rest hot feet on another’s beach towel or blanket.
9. Thou shalt move screaming and/or rowdy children away from others
And, of course, possibly most importantly…
10. Thou shalt not wear Speedos or thongs if thou art a man: This is not St. Tropez and one could argue that they shouldn’t even be doing it there but thank God in the good old US of A, men have the good sense not to show more of their junk (or butts) than they should. How bout let’s keep it that way?
Clean Up The Lot
I keep hearing about Far Rockaway’s revitalization and all the money that will pour into the area. Coming back from Nassau County recently, I wound up passing through the shopping center lot. It was filled with garbage right outside Dunkin Donuts. I suggest they hire someone to clean the lot. What good is it to rebuild the area when you have pigs throwing all their trash in the street? I guess they don’t know any better.
(In response to July 6 Boyleing Points about colonoscopies): Finally, after nearly 40 years in practice, thanks to your article I found a way to convince my Italian male patients to get a colonoscopy.
Fernando Pacifico, MD
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