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Behavior Monitors

The Memorial Day holiday weekend is accompanied by a litany of proscribed behavior decreed by none other than our very own Mayor Bill De Blasio who has decreed that only residents of the communities surrounding the beaches should be allowed to use the beach and even then, simply as “just open space you can walk on….swimming, lifeguards, parties, barbecues and sports” are strictly verboten! And if any of you are thinking about disregarding our Supreme Leaders behavioral edicts by cooling your toes in the surf, it’s not the sand sharks you should be worried about but rather our...

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Going Nuts

I am seriously beginning to believe that I am suffering, not so much from the coronavirus itself, but rather from a rather severe mental disorder that has affected my thoughts and emotions so severely, that I’m losing contact with external reality. I turn on the TV and my cable box offers nothing but talking heads spewing dreadful stories 24/7 about the current pandemic. The anchors over on news radio provide no respite either with their “all virus, all the time” coverage of this disease. What drives me nuts is that each day the supposed learned journalists are all pushing the pandemic...

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A Parade for Paulie

  What a special birthday! On Wednesday, April 15, fellow friends from the St. Camillus Special Olympics program, neighbors and even strangers who got word of it, lined up on Rockaway Beach Blvd. for a spontaneous car parade to celebrate Paul Fitzpatrick’s big day! People made signs, brought balloons, played music and shouted ‘Happy Birthday’ as they drove by to make sure Paulie had a day he wouldn’t forget, despite coronavirus shutdowns.

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Things To Do

As we all continue to mark time sheltering in place during this coronavirus pandemic, I am beginning to sense that there are some of us who are beginning to fray around the edges. In this free-form, kind of weird world that we’re in right now, everybody’s internal clock has been thrown off kilter. There’s just no reference point anymore. Everybody’s just sitting around the house binge watching something on Netflix. So I stretched out on the couch with a big bowl of chocolate ice cream smothered in hot fudge covered with marshmallows and nuts…..OK, wait a minute, I may have slightly digressed...

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When Cartoons Go Bad

As if we all don’t have enough social justice issues to worry about, what with all the coronavirus issues we are presently faced with, Professor Holly M. Barker from the University of Washington, a highly educated academic with a B.A. in English, an M.A. in International Education and a PhD in Anthropology, has added yet another straw in what appears to be a never-ending attempt to cause all our heads to explode. Professor Barker, whose field of expertise at her university is that of sociocultural anthropology, recently published a paper wherein she has accused none other than SpongeBob...

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Home Spun

The column this week is short and sweet. I have been obeying my clan’s dictum to remain at home and I try to spend my time, as best I can, doing some constructive things around the house. The other day, I was watering the many plants around the homestead and I struck up a conversation with a rather large spider who turned out to be quite an interesting fellow. My beloved Grace pointed out the fact that I was actually speaking with a spider, which might give cause for some to question the state of my mental well-being. I told Grace that this guy was one of the best web designers I ever met. I...

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Stay At Home Dad

Needless to say, the talk around the house has been centered on the Coronavirus. Yes, the apocalypse is upon us, but instead of anarchy and zombies, we are being forced to deal with being stuck at home with our children who are prohibited from attending school and a shortage of toilet paper.    As a father, I have found it difficult to explain to my daughters how a guy eating bat soup in Wuhan, China led to a toilet paper shortage in the United States. I did however point out one salient fact to them in that if you really think you need 150 rolls of toilet paper for a 14-day quarantine, you...

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Now Hear This

This past weekend, whilst I was over at the Rockaway Stop and Shop picking up various staples and sundries I probably didn’t need, I chanced upon an elderly married couple, both neighbors from Broad Channel, engaged in an excited discussion about the fact that an Uber driver had tested positive for the dreaded coronavirus, and was being held in isolation for treatment at St. John’s Episcopal Hospital. The husband appeared to be extremely concerned about this issue, as he feared that he was in an “at risk” group” because of his age and some health-related issues....

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Man, Oh Man, The Gingerbread Man

On my travels recently, I stopped into a bakery out on the Island on Sunrise Highway, having been drawn to the shop’s window display of Christmas-related baked goods and confectioneries. Upon entering the establishment, I was immediately overwhelmed by the delicious aromas therein and using my nose as a compass, I soon found my way to a rather delicious-looking display of my all-time favorite holiday cookie—a Gingerbread Man. I am certainly not alone in my passion for this treat as even William Shakespeare in his Love’s Labor’s Lost opined: “And I had but one penny in...

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