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Some Nerve

Reader alert.  Avert your eyes if you can’t stand a little blue language.  I’d never use such language, Mom.  I’m just gonna quote because I gotta show some backbone, some nerve, some you know….

Anyway, last week I had one person mad at me.  This week I’ll have 1,223. 

You saw last week’s letters, in the We Get Email section, right?  Someone was mad at me because I didn’t have the balls to write about the scourge of underage drinking and if I had any real balls I’d put it on the front page. And they made fun of Boyleing Points.  That hurt. 

The letter writer said I had nothing to say and I quote: Blah, blah, blah.

Nothing to say?  This is the column of world problems. This is the place where I talk about fighting over armrests on airplanes. This is the column where society’s mental health is threatened by the incessant yakking of some people.

Most of you know this isn’t a pulpit, it’s a playground.

There are no surprises. I’ve got nothing to say and I say it loud. Complaining about Boyleing Points is like complaining about a Sudoku puzzle.

Anyway back to the letter (you can find it on our website).  It was an anonymous letter that said I had no balls.  It came in the regular mail with no return address.  It was typed and the name “Coach K” was the signoff.

Let me get this out of the way.  Parents, if your underage kids are drinking on the beach and leaving their empties, do what you can to stop it.

So, there, I said it.  I don’t know if that took balls or not.  Coach K also wrote: Perhaps you suffer from fear of missing them. We all wonder. 

  1. The “we all wonder” line shook me. Do you all really wonder that?  If so, stop, you’re creeping me out.

Coach K said it was not a law enforcement issue.  Well, I guess it shouldn’t be illegal then.  In any case, I hope parents, other coaches, and teachers and clergy have gotten similar letters from Coach K. 

Of course, I wondered about the identity of Coach K.   I thought it might be Joe Kenel.  But he wouldn’t waste a stamp on me and he’d more likely just shout about my lack of balls from the stage at a Grayrider’s gig.

Then I wondered if it might be the original Coach K, Mike Krzyzewski, the famous basketball coach from Duke University. As I was dusting the letter for fingerprints, a couple of Rockaway Colombos came forth.  Joe Courtney, aka The Detective, said I was looking at the wrong gender.  As did Ed Cashen.  Really, a woman?  Wow, jeez. 

They narrowed it down and even came up with a name or two.  I wish I had the balls to say who they guessed.

Ok, now what about the other 1,223 people ready to be annoyed?  Well, that many people signed a petition to name the ferry dock after Laura Deckelman.  First of all, can we please get the ferry here before we start naming docks after people?   Laura should be quite pleased and amazed that so many people want to honor her efforts in trying to get the ferry to stay.  She logged many a nautical mile as she rode the ferry – I guess every day – and took great photos and urged City Hall to keep Seastreak alive.  Laura’s allowed us to use her pictures; some have been been on the front page.  She should get a lifetime discount on the future ferry.

But I’m thinking we should hold off on naming things until they actually exist and my second thought is maybe we shouldn’t name things after people who are still alive. Imagine if someone in City Hall said we’re calling it the “de Blasio Boardwalk” because he almost finished it on time. 

Naming things?  Let’s keep it to 9/11 heroes and those who’ve made the ultimate sacrifice.

Unofficial names are fine. The Ferry Guy, is quite the honor.  That’s what people call Joe Hartigan who’s been the Number One ferry advocate for longer than anyone.

If you want to complain, you know where to send your anonymous notes.

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