I have noticed I like getting attention from certain men. I love when they flirt with me, and I love getting compliments, but I’m afraid of letting them down and not wanting to hurt their feelings, or let them down, if they should ask me out. What’s the best way to deal with this?
Dear Visible Veronica
I hear you, sister, I also love getting attention. It’s part of the reason I love the stage, so that’s one way to get attention… But with men in your world and social circle, it’s a different story because there seems to be personal relations going on with them. So, I imagine it feels good to get attention from these men, and you like to keep your distance. Brilliant of you for realizing what you DO like.
You are also fearing and creating a future situation that hasn’t happened yet, which will take the fun out of your attention-getting experience, which is NO FUN! So firstly, keep enjoying yourself! Secondly, if a man should ask you out, maybe you would say yes? Or if you are in a relationship already, and know you will say no, you can share with him something like this: “I love getting attention from you, but I’m going to have to say no thank you right now.” Then trust he’s a grown adult, he can take care of himself. We all have egos and sometimes they get bruised. You are NOT responsible for making anyone feel good, that’s a co-dependent way of being, or at least the start of it.
I’m a big fan of the TRUTH, and I actually believe the truth is erotic, being present and telling him exactly the “no thank you,” is way more brave and courageous, than hiding and hoping he “gets it.” Being seen, appreciated, and complimented are fuel for women. If we allow it, it’s a powerful energy exchange. Fifty thousand years ago, people would go to houses of worship to honor the Goddess, so I see it as a powerful exchange of energy that is your/our birthright! The extreme version of this is being an exhibitionist, which could stand to be admitted more from more people.
Thank you for bringing your attention-enjoyment to the forefront! You’re gorgeous!
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