I am bored. I live alone, thank God for my cat. I usually have a very busy life. I’m a teacher and I go on dates and have friends that I’ve known forever, and we are always doing things. The thing is, all my friends are living with their families, and I’m the only one in this quarantine alone. I feel insanely jealous, and well, also very alone. We all have a text thread, and have spoken a couple of times on the phone and Zoom, but they are always all distracted. I feel like I don’t even know them anymore. They also complain about being around their families, their parents and random family members that are all together in this virus time. It’s like I’m a stranger to them. Why do I even know them?
I feel like telling them they should be quiet and be so grateful that they have people around them. It’s really hard to live this way. I don’t know what I’m asking really, but if you have suggestions for me to not feel so alone, I would be grateful. Thank you for all you do.
Dear Lonely Lucy,
This is such a great share. I love how you have so much gratitude and awareness of being thankful. I’m sorry you feel alone, and it makes sense in this contrast of a time of freedom, that you are feeling disconnected from the people that you usually connect and relate to. It also makes sense that you would question your relationships with them. Thank you for being willing to look deeper and seek support, that is everything in this time.
We are in a collective grief, a universal trauma of sorts. All relationships are now under the super microscope. There are many levels and dynamics and stages of grief, anything that maybe was ignored beforehand will come up now. I sense you are feeling misunderstood and frustrated, and you are not alone in that, and that’s the very thing you are feeling.
My advice here is for the short term, it’s the “what can I do right now?” Here’s a bunch and you choose what you feel even a slight bit curious about. Go to meetup.com, this was a site developed after 9/11 for people with common interests to meet. ***IMPORTANT—pick something fun. I teach on Wednesday at 3 p.m., a dance class. I recommend looking into www.circleanywhere.com. It’s a communication and connection practice that happens several times a day. Go to Facebook events, and see what virtual events are happening. Be picky, but not too picky, just show up and see what happens. Also, try your hand at writing poetry, doodling, drawing, painting or using whatever art supplies you have access to.
I am also personally inviting you into my FB group (it’s pretty active, fun, positive and uplifting and magical) search: The Awkward Enchanted Coven. There are Sisters that will welcome you, as will I.
By Shane Kulman