I am seriously beginning to believe that I am suffering, not so much from the coronavirus itself, but rather from a rather severe mental disorder that has affected my thoughts and emotions so severely, that I’m losing contact with external reality. I turn on the TV and my cable box offers nothing but talking heads spewing dreadful stories 24/7 about the current pandemic. The anchors over on news radio provide no respite either with their “all virus, all the time” coverage of this disease.
What drives me nuts is that each day the supposed learned journalists are all pushing the pandemic flavor of the day if you will, with new and contradictory takes on this issue. Personal Protective Equipment? Yesterday it was mask off and today it’s mask on. Sorta reminds me of the old Clapper ad. You remember, “Clap off! Clap On!”
Mortality rate? Yesterday, it was “Oh My God, it’s the Andromeda Strain.” Today, it’s “Perhaps we were mistaken.” Border security? Yesterday, it was “Don’t be racist, open borders for everyone!” Today it’s “It’s dangerous to allow just anyone to cross the border.” Yesterday, it was “We don’t have sufficient ventilators to save our people.” Today, it’s “On second thought we may have been overusing ventilators in this regard.” Yesterday, it was “Keep the subways running.” Today, it’s “Reduce subway service” which resulted in denser crowds on those cars providing the reduced service. Go figure!
Social media is no better as, according to all the self-righteous and intellectually deficient celebrity elite postings making the rounds, the root cause of this pandemic is none other than Dastardly Dan, also known as Donald J. Trump, who had the racist temerity to question China’s role in this pandemic. Our Hollywood aristocracy has also denounced our President’s temporary defunding of the WHO. I have to admit I found this decision on the part of Trump also somewhat confusing until it was made clear to me that he wasn’t referring to Roger Daltrey and Peter Townshend’s Baba O’Riley.
Anywho…getting back to my suspected mental disorder, a quick google visit to WebMD has assured me that I am suffering from a coronavirus-related malady as I am clearly presenting with obvious symptoms of a psychosis. Suspiciousness or uneasiness with others? — Whoa, back up there, buddy, social distance OK? Spending a lot more time alone than usual? Gilbert O’Sullivan’s “Alone Again” is now the theme song of my lock down life. Trouble thinking clearly or understanding? I confused the rock band WHO with a United Nations Health Organization—need I say more? Prone to conspiracy theories? For the life of me, I cannot fathom why the health authorities are so reluctant to admit that the shortage of toilet paper is due to the simple fact that so many of us are now stuck at home preparing our own meals for the first time ever. Stay safe.
Broad Channel, why would anyone want to live anywhere else?
By Peter Mahon