Rick Horan has been a good sport, wait, maybe sport isn’t the right word. Rick has been ok with me filming his basketball exploits and posting his work on Facebook and YouTube. People always ask if he’s that bad. He is. (See the horror online by searching Two Bikes and a Ball).
Fortunately, there is no photographic evidence (thank god) but I believe a first-ever in the annals of basketball was achieved this past Saturday. Three men, each over 60 years old, suffering from a serious case of basketball jones, and dying for a sweat found an outdoor court with hoops still on the backboard.
In keeping with the social distance requirements of the day, the men plotted out some basketball drills and games, drawing upon memories of when kids played outdoors. They soon realized that playing H-O-R-S-E and other shooting games was great fun but they didn’t quite trigger the sweat glands.
Someone came up with the dimwitted idea to do a full court three-man weave. And they did. And it was here, that I think history was made.
For those who don’t know what a three-man weave is, let’s just say it’s like running and doing figure eights while passing a ball back and forth. In this case, it was more like figure sixes or sevens because there were some seriously disjointed action and more weaving than a guy coming out of bar at 4 in the morning.
It wasn’t poetry in motion but there was motion. Slow motion, yes, but still, it was thrilling and exciting because of the danger. The three men careened towards each other repeatedly but escaped the crash each time. The joy ride, and that’s what it was, by the look on their faces, ended when one of the stooges made a lay-up. If they missed, they had to run it back, like the old days.
One player who shall remain nameless, (OLHC, Xaverian ’77) and John Cosgrove (OLHC, City Champion, Loughlin ’76) and this other guy (STA, Nazareth ’77) have to be the first-ever trio to run a 3-man weave, full-court, on a hard outdoor surface, at such a decrepit age. During a pandemic.
Like a hip, it’s a record that can be broken. Some 70-year-olds in Florida are probably reading this and loosening up. But the guys above, they’re the Neil Armstrongs, the first ever to do a three-man weave during a pandemic, in public. Man, there’s something to be said for reaching an age where nothing embarrasses you.
So when I get asked, when are you going to give up basketball, I just say I can’t stop while I’m still setting records. And besides, it’s always fun to keep playing the game you’re getting worse at!
By Kevin Boyle