How many times have you been disappointed because you expected another outcome or for someone to do or say something or act in a different way? I’ve been examining this in my own life and looking for a way to remove the expectations and replace them with happy acceptances.
I know from my studies and yoga practices, “santosha” or contentment, comes from the ability to accept. Why wouldn’t we want to feel content in our lives and do everything to be in that state of being? Could be a lot of it is habitual thinking. Just like habitual actions, i.e., habits, we do default to thinking habits. On this road to happiness—a happy life—I am looking for ways to better my inner workings so I can live fully and in delight. For years I said to my friends when in a “philosophical” conversation, when I feel balanced, I will keel over and die! I have come to edit that a bit, because I would like to spend some years feeling in balance, content and happy!
I make myself so unhappy by expecting a few people to be different and live up to what I expect of them. When I put it down on paper here, this seems ridiculous, yet it is a habitual pattern. I took The Power of Habit off the shelf and am revisiting the parts on habitual thinking. All I need is a shift, a switch to a different track, a change.
“If you believe you can change—if you make it a habit—the change becomes real. This is the real power of habit: the insight that your habits are what you choose them to be. Once the choice occurs—and becomes automatic—it’s not only real, it starts to seem inevitable,” – Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit. This is not to say that it isn’t complicated. Searching for the reason why we may have expectations may be hard to pinpoint, but with patience and giving space to it, we can create the impetus to make the shift. And then go from there. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
So, I am bringing in the intention to make this change: to replace expectation and disappointment with acceptance and happiness. As we know, energy follows intention. At the start of our yoga practice, we take a moment to create an intention, a positive affirmation, so that we may bring it into our inner world and sooner or later, voila’! It may not be in an “expected” timeframe, but it will come. Repeating the intention often leads the way to “how” to make the change. We may know we want something to be different, but don’t know how. The continued intention opens up pathways for the how. I know this from experience: create the clear intention, bring it in by saying it to myself repeatedly, and let my universe help me to find the way.
May you be happy. May you be free. May you be grateful. May you be compassionate. May you let go of things that do not serve you May you have inner peace.
By Paulette Mancuga