Well, I think I blew it.
I had every intention of writing a “dog days of summer” column this month. It feels like a columnist’s duty. Every August, the news seems to slow to a crawl. Whether that’s because of the actual news or the people covering it, I’ll leave up to you. Fittingly, as you may know, one of my favorite things to write about is absolutely nothing. In other words, it’s the perfect excuse to mail one in.
Unfortunately, I think I missed my window.
Even with an unusually late Labor Day this year, it seems the dog days are already behind us. As I sat down to write this sure-to-be lackluster column, it occurred to me that summer is vanishing right before our eyes.
How do I know we’re nearing the end of our summer rope, besides seeing the calendar days falling off like leaves on a tree? The sun is setting just a little bit earlier, Breezy Point Mardi Gras planning is in full swing, and you can’t turn on the TV without being inundated with “back-to-school” propaganda. The Jets and Giants are playing each other tomorrow!
As I sat down to write this column, my wife announced the depressing news that this past Tuesday marked the return of Starbucks’ infamous pumpkin spice latte. Nothing says fall like women throwing on their best Han Solo costumes and making the pilgrimage to Starbucks for a PSL. Who am I kidding? Those things are delicious, and if you disagree, you are simply lying to yourself.
Additional reports from the front lines have informed me that Target has already gone full fall. I’m told its Halloween—and even Thanksgiving—display is already quite impressive.
It’s still August, for Pete’s sake! Put those Butterballs back in the freezer!
This is a tough argument for me to make. I am a fall man, through and through. The sweet spot for me is right around 50 degrees. As that thermometer begins to fall, my spirits begin to lift.
August reminds me of sweat, more sweat, and chafing. Fall reminds me of apple cider donuts, apple cider alcohol, and not chafing.
Even so, this is too much. We need to pump the brakes. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
We are not done yet. There’s still plenty of summer left to enjoy. There are more frozens to be had, more pizza to be ordered to the beach wall, there is still time left to sit in the sun all day and get sunburnt tan. We’ve waited all year for these weeks. We shouldn’t be so eager to wish them away.
This is a summer town. Fifty degrees may be my sweet spot, but that will only last for so long. Around here, one day it’s 55 and sunny; the next, the wind chill is -11 and there’s a foot of snow in the forecast. I wanted to talk about the dog days of summer, but what about the dog days of winter?!
We’ve got to savor these days. The clock is ticking, sure, but the alarm hasn’t gone off yet. Summer’s still here. Let’s not rush it out the door.
